it's windy and raining in my head, too.

This is me, when I don't know how to feel.

Sometimes, I just want to be
right in front of you
and hope that you can see everything for what it is.
And I often wish
that I was a less serious person,
because you are not like this.
In more ways than one,
I want to be more like you.
But I can’t –
this is me, and me alone.
I can be your best friend, and your lover
and I try to be everything else too.
The days it isn’t so, I hurt;
unnecessarily, I know.
Sometimes, I don’t know what to say
to make myself feel better.
I guise it in a manner of my own,
and often pretend it is for you.
Pretending it is for your own heart,
when it is actually to support this one.
I don’t know.
I do get scared, and I don’t like
when it is brushed aside.
This is it, and I can’t help it.
I know that you are my life love
and the one whom I will grow old with,
if you’ll let me.
I just want it to be perfect,
and perfectly lasting.
Sometimes, I know I’m not myself,
and it is these days where I feel less at ease.
I can’t explain it, darling
because you are wonderful,
every day!
It is me, and I don’t know where to grow too.
I want to be stronger,
and I can be for us
I just can’t be, for me.
It is okay in my heart that I will never be alone,
but I often feel that you want to be,
and I’m scared for that day to come.
I never want to lose you, soul mate.
I know this will all fade away
and only our love will remain.