love making in the afternoon light.

I needed this day.

I've never felt so simple and beautiful;
sitting in bed, with clothes all over the floor
and work to be done, but still.
I have tea (no sympathy!), cheese and crackers,
bare legs and warm toes.
The smell of vanilla fills my room,
and the afro is somewhat covered by Fay's scarf.
My lover is never far from my heart,
and she hangs around my neck -
right next to grandmother F, in fact!


So, I'm currently reading the lastest issue of frankie,
and there is an incredible article about a girl who took one Polaroid photograph
every day, for a whole year
to document her life, and what inspired her.
I think it's a simply marvelous idea, and have every intention of being a copycat
(once I have the resources to purchase a camera!).
I've wanted a Polaroid for so long, there's just something about the instantaneous memory that enthralls me.
Soon, hopefully.


I have more and more been longing to be away from here, as of late.
I want to be with my darling alex, and noone else.
I don't want it to be so difficult.
I want to travel far and wide; and write, far and wide!
I want to visit cassaundra in NYC, and drink tea & red wine,
smoke cigarettes,
shop all day,
and speak poetically 'til the early hours.

Mmmm.

Peace out x

it's windy and raining in my head, too.

This is me, when I don't know how to feel.

Sometimes, I just want to be
right in front of you
and hope that you can see everything for what it is.
And I often wish
that I was a less serious person,
because you are not like this.
In more ways than one,
I want to be more like you.
But I can’t –
this is me, and me alone.
I can be your best friend, and your lover
and I try to be everything else too.
The days it isn’t so, I hurt;
unnecessarily, I know.
Sometimes, I don’t know what to say
to make myself feel better.
I guise it in a manner of my own,
and often pretend it is for you.
Pretending it is for your own heart,
when it is actually to support this one.
I don’t know.
I do get scared, and I don’t like
when it is brushed aside.
This is it, and I can’t help it.
I know that you are my life love
and the one whom I will grow old with,
if you’ll let me.
I just want it to be perfect,
and perfectly lasting.
Sometimes, I know I’m not myself,
and it is these days where I feel less at ease.
I can’t explain it, darling
because you are wonderful,
every day!
It is me, and I don’t know where to grow too.
I want to be stronger,
and I can be for us
I just can’t be, for me.
It is okay in my heart that I will never be alone,
but I often feel that you want to be,
and I’m scared for that day to come.
I never want to lose you, soul mate.
I know this will all fade away
and only our love will remain.

feeling charitable?

Yesterday, here in Australia, it was CanTeen Bandanna Day. Every year, the organisation sells bandannas for around $3 to raise money for the foundation. It's just one of the fundraisers that is run annually on behalf of the cause, which supports young people (aged 12-24) living with cancer.



I remember as a child being completely blown away by the whole thing - almost everyone would get into the spirit and wear a colourful bandanna in some way. I think it's a wonderful cause, and one of the few things that is easy to get involved with even if you ARE too lazy to make a huge contribution. This is why I was utterly disappointed by the lack of support for it yesterday! I don't know if it was a lack of advertising for the event, or the sincere disregard by today's society, but it was simply another day. I was in town all day and the only time I saw a bandanna was when I looked in the mirror, and at the stall set up by volunteers. It made me wish I'd donated more than $6! (I bought two - one for myself, and one for lover girl who was charitable enough to wear it around her ankle :)



This whole deal made me wonder - what has happened to charity in our society? The gap between rich and poor is growing exponentially, and it seems that the gap between the needy and those who CAN help but choose not to is also expanding. It doesn't speak very well for the conscious of civilisation that volunteers are becoming a rarer breed than ever.



Admittedly, my bank balance is currently regretting that I gave $20 to a busker the other day and now find myself with $9 to last the next 2 weeks - but it was a good feeling, and I'll survive. I have shelter, food, and love. Some people have nothing; or they appear to have everything, but secretly live with a disability or sickness that hinders their happiness. I know a guy from high school who recently gave up his life for a few days to live in a cardboard box and actually earn his worth for survival, just to experience what it was like. I'm not too proud to admit that I honestly don't think I could do this, but I admire him so much for doing it. This is just one way of showing care for people living in lesser circumstances.







*Bandanna Day was established in 2004, and almost one million bandannas are sold each year to support the cause. Get involved at http://www.canteen.org.au/









Peace out x

why it ain't easy being green.

I recently discovered an additional perk of being vegetarian – helping the environment. Thanks to No Impact Man, I have learned of the potential benefits of refraining from using animal products in assisting our poor atmosphere. After additional research, I have found that this has been investigated in many studies, most profoundly in one done by the United Nations in 2006. This study proved that the amount of greenhouse gas emitted by all the cars and trucks in the world was LESS than that created by raising animals to generate food. Read more about environmental vegetarianism here!

As much as I hate to admit it, my vegetarianism has quite deteriorated as of late. At the risk of sounding as though I’m simply making excuses for myself (I’m honestly not!), it just hasn’t been easy for me. Living at home with my parents and two younger brothers is most of the problem, particularly stemming from the fact that my father told me that not eating meat makes me an outsider in the family. Although it’s likely that this was just an outlet for anger about certain other decisions of mine, it really made me feel that if I didn’t eat the dead animal carcass sitting on my plate, then I didn’t belong.

I may sound completely weak for not standing up for what I believe in, but it’s hard to understand unless you live under this roof that my family works in mysterious ways. There are unspoken expectations about most things, and due to being the eldest I am the first to make any attempt at stretching these boundaries. Perhaps there’s a fair point with one or two things, but I do think that this is something worth fighting for. So I will!

I have a good friend looking into becoming a vegetarian, and the internet is definitely an awesome place to find information/recipes/advice from long-time veggies. However, there’s also a lot of crap (excuse my French) and it’s important to focus on getting enough of the right nutrients etc. I know I’m guilty of not eating enough, and DEFINITELY guilty of replacing protein with easy carbs, but I’m working on it! Trying to get enough iron is one of the most difficult things, and I’ve been borderline anemic as a result of this. My love of chickpeas helps though!

Helpful sites:

http://www.goveg.com/

http://www.veggieglobal.com/

http://www.vegsoc.org/

http://www.vegetariansrecipes.org/

http://www.kurma.net/

http://www.ar.vegnews.org/

http://www.animalconcerns.org/



AND my favourite vegetarian/vegan cookbook:

The Low GI Vegetarian Cookbook
















Peace out x

a girl can have a goal, can't she?

Normally, I'm not too good with the goals - but this blog begins with a number of them. I'm not one for starting small and working my way up either, which could prove detrimental to this.
I guess we'll see, though.

I live in a town that calls itself a city, and find myself thinking that my life is microcosmic to this in some ways. To a certain extent, I also call myself one thing when I am in fact another. Not so much fooling others, rather trying to fool myself. So far this year I've made a million decisions, and they have either had a very small effect, or a deafening one. Don't get me wrong, I don't live by regrets; I just wish there was substantial evidence that I have actually been occupying the planet in the past ten months!

Although this is part of the reason I'm starting this blog, I have also been amazingly inspired by a few things recently. Namely:

• an incredible girl, whom I unbelievably get to call my fiance. She amazes me every day with her love and spirit, and I feel luckier with every moment we spend together. Without knowing it, she taught me to live properly and to wholeheartedly give myself to anything I choose.
• a cause I fell into - and the seventy wonderful people I met through the Zeroseven Roadtrip and Oaktree Foundation. I might address this in greater detail at a later date. Or I might not. Either way, it was one of the highlights of my life so far, and will never cease to be a source of motivation for me.
• a few different people I've met along the way this year, who I've seen glimpses of myself in and still managed to like. In this way, they've allowed me to appreciate some small things in myself, and it feels strange! There is a beautiful soul on the other side of the world whom is like a sister to me - a talented writer and photographer; someone I wish I could embody more within myself. Closer to home, I found a confidante unexpectedly, whom will always listen and never judge. Lastly, I met a girl who never fails to make me smile, and always seems to be happy to see me!

So there's the inspiration and the goal.
Wish me luck!

Peace out x